One of my clients asked me once “When do I get to see YOUR house?” While I understand the reason for this question, I do not allow clients to come to my home. One actually used the excuse of dropping off a check to me to try and come in and I would not allow her. 

My home has been my place of healing these last 2.5 years and when life is messy, so are parts of your home. For me it’s been my master bedroom/bath, a place of abandonment if you will, and my first floor guest bedroom where my ex and I did some final sorting and deciding on who got what. My wedding dress is there and I don’t care to see her yet. 

During the separation, I had to figure out how to survive first. Mental and physical health were the utmost priorities. Then came financial health. This year I have finally taken an interest in attempting to make this home my own. My plan has been to declutter myself with the goal of trying to fit myself into a tiny home some day. #Goals

Then in 2023 sparsely decorate it – I don’t want to fill the spaces I’ve cleared. There was always a plan to “move in a few years” so we simply lived within the four walls until it was time to move again. I’ve never decorated a home before but now I find I am craving visual satisfaction…a yellow here or a spa green there.

This is my master bathroom and here is the truth – I haven’t cleaned this countertop in 2.5 years.  I simply went from my sink on the right and progressively moved leftward to my ex’s sink leaving a trail of product samples, spilled lotion, hair (LOTS of hair), hairbands and the like. Yes, it was incredibly gross, BUT my mom is coming for Thanksgiving and she is staying in my room so I needed to pull on my big girl pants and get myself back to center. Year 3 is out with the old.

As I approached this project, I decided to use it asan exercise to understand my clients. Why have I waited this long? Why is it so hard for ME to start? It turned out I have anxiety over throwing anything non-recyclable away. I know that the sample of hotel shampoo I took back in 2016 is going to sit in a landfill for 150 years. (Guilt) Could I squeeze one more toothbrush full of Colgate onto the brush and then send the tube to TerraCycle? (Another to do in a laundry list of to dos) Perhaps I can send those moisturizer pumps I kept back to Jergens in an attempt at protesting plastic?  (Yes another to-do I won’t get to) “Oh hi, ex-husband, I didn’t expect to find your electric toothbrush base and shaving cream under the sink. Yeah, thank you for reminding me you threw me away and I packed up four carloads of your crap only to realize 2.5 years later I missed a few details.”

Yes, there are a few things left to do with cleaners to put away, a countertop to seal, and some straggly things I just need to trash. When done there will be three boxes on the counter – the clear box on the left is my road trip box with everyday items I need and use (I stay packed since I travel so much and just move the box), the clear box on the right are things I can’t throw away until I use them (they have to be used up by end of December or they will be trashed), and the brown bamboo box is my hair dryer and brushes. Move the boxes and I can easily clean it weekly. If it doesn’t fit into my boxes then I don’t buy or keep it.

I post this to say to you what I tell my clients everyday – forgive yourself if a corner, countertop or cabinet is not perfectly cleaned and organized. You just may not be ready yet and that is perfectly ok. Today I was ready.

Read more Stories from the Frontlines of Clutter